Tuesday, February 16, 2010


Why do things always happen when the weather is bad?

WARNING: Long blog!

I kept hearing a calf bawling for his mother out behind the house. So as I went out to feed the birds this morning, I looked around to see if I could see it. The cattle were a few hundred feet down over the hill acting like nothing was wrong, so I just assumed that we had a baby that couldn't find it's mother at the exact time that it wanted to feed, so it was bawling.(Babies do that)So I finished feeding the birds and went back into the house. A few minutes later, I hear it again. Okay, I've got to see what's up. So I get my coat and boots on and go outside.

As I go around the house, trudging through snow, I see that we have a calf out. It was either Sir Loin of Beef or T-Bone.(I can't tell them apart anymore.) We have places in our fence around our house that, how should I put this, are not the best fence in the world. There are places that babies can get out. Granted, they normally don't. But I guess this time he did.

I try to force him into the field. Calves have a talent. They know how to get through a fence. I think they are born with it. This one didn't. He goes around the chicken coop and darts down the driveway into the road. Now, through all of this, Hubby is not home.(Of course) He is helping a friend with his tractor. Me,being not the most graceful person on snow and ice, decides to get one of our four wheelers out. Our newest four wheeler is behind the house underneath a tarp. I try to move the tarp, but the blocks that are holding the tarp down are frozen into gigantic ice blocks. No moving them. So I go and try the older four wheeler. Hubby uses it to pull the wood splitter around when he splits wood. The wood splitter was still attached. No problem, just unhitch it right. Wrong! Wouldn't budge. Now imagine a fat woman out there heaving and tugging on a wood splitter. Not a pretty site. Oh to make things even better, I was in lounge pants. You know, the pants everybody sleeps in. Not warm either. Anyway, the brother of our neighbor picks this time to pull in the drive. He was looking for Hubby to see if he could help him with something. Little did he know that I was going to persuade him into helping me get the calf back in. Finally! The little booger went back in.

Still not done. As I set down to type up this blog, I hear some more mooing. This time it was Mama. Okay, now where did her calf go. Since I really didn't get to see mom and baby reunited, I probably should go see if everything is alright.

So back into my coat and boots. I try to get the wood splitter off again. Nothing. Then a bright idea hits me. I'll use the big metal tamping bar that is leaning up against the chicken coop to break the blocks loose.(Why it was leaning up against the chicken coop, I don't know) Anyway, I walk over to the coop, trudging through a snowdrift that is up to my nether regions,and got the bar. Got it back, broke the blocks loose and shoved back the tarp that weights 90 million pounds. All this time I have a St. Bernard jumping up and down thinking I'm playing with him. I'm not.

I start the four wheeler and pull it around to the gate. As I'm going around my car, the four wheeler gets stuck in a snowdrift. Great! After a few minutes of rocking it back and forth, I got it loose. I drove up to the gate to open it. The gate has a ratchet strap keeping it closed. Now any other time I can work the ratchet strap. But oooooooooh nooooooooo, I can't get it this time. So I take off my gloves, put them between my legs and unfasten the strap. The gloves fall on the ground. And as I was bending down to pick them up,Luke(St. Bernard)starts licking my face. AAAUUUUGGGGHHH! I shove him off,get back on the four wheeler and drive it through the gate. I go and check the cattle. All were there. (Those little liers! You would think at least one of them would be dead for all of the problems I had to go through just to check on them. lol)I come back,go through the gate, and fasten it up. Once again, Luke slobber in the the face.

I decided that since I had the four wheeler out, I would go and check the mail. I rode it down my driveway. There was a snowdrift as tall as the mailbox. I was not going to walk in that to get the mail. So what did I do? Got the four wheeler stuck again. This time, not as bad. I drove back to the house, sitting on the mail so that I wouldn't lose it and go to put the four wheeler up. Now, what am I going to do with the mail as I put the tarp back. The wind isn't blowing back here bad, I'll just toss it on the ground. Wrong! Big gust of wind at the same time I let go of the mail. Mail is now being blown across our yard toward our pasture. Okay. Cover four wheeler, get licked in the face by Luke as I'm putting blocks back on tarp, and then chase down mail. I, once again, go trudging through the snow that is up to my nether regions, to get the mail. The mail goes under the fence. Now I have to make the decision, do I want to go under the barbed wire or over it. As I look at my happy dog standing beside me hoping that I will play with him, I decide to go over. I push the fence down,because once again, it is loose there, and start to swing my leg over. Nope. I hear a distinct ripping sound. I catch my lounge pants on the barbs. Great, just great! The horses, that are eating right there, come over to investigate, or how it really happens,let's go run and kick and buck. Do not worry, I did not get run over by the horses. But, I did decide that I didn't need that 10% off coupon from Tractor Supply that was blowing across the pasture. I went back into the house and made me some Bee Spit Tea, (recipe will come later)and sat down close to the stove.

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl, going back to bed and starting over.


Sarah said...

Sounds like you really got a work out! Glad all the beefs are well and happy and together again.

Anonymous said...

LOL, I image of all that is quite humerous!! sounds like you had quite a day!! Life on the farm! Ya' gotta love it!! Now, you can't say your posts are boring...because they are NOT!!!...debbie

TnTConnect said...

While I am chuckling now, I am sure it wasn't funny as it was happening. Thanks for sharing, I don't feel like those things only happen to me now.

soni--lil sis said...

wow,, Luke was just wanting to help im sure. He seems like he would be good at that. Just think if you would have pulled something while going over that fence instead of just ripping your sleep pants he would have kept you warm. Least now i know what you need for your birthday on March 13th,,,, NEW SLEEP PANTS!

granny said...

LOL...Life is never boring huh :0)

Melodie said...

ahhh...days like those!At least it had a happy ending..well.. except for the sleep pants!

V.L. Locey said...

Boy a farm girls life is never boring is it? =)

Lisa said...

lol sorry its not funny but sounds like an adventure!

Kelle at The Never Done Farm said...

Don't mean to laugh, but girl you are a hoot! Sounds like a day we have about a week back, nothing went right and in dealing with premenopause issues I was in tears before the day was over, but in retelling it to Mike, we all had a good laugh!

Take care and you go girl!

duckidaho said...

Isn't that how it goes. I have a chicken doing the escape artist thing. I don't know how she gets out, but it's the same chicken every day. And every day we try to catch her. She's spent more than one night out with the owls and coyotes. She must be roosting in a tree.

Unknown said...

Oh yes I know those kinds of days, you have to know you are in good company. My days like that usually involve pigs and mud or me making another dent in my poor pick up truck. Hope you are warm and toasty for a while at least.

Anonymous said...

Sherri, you have been awarded THE SUN SHINE AWARD because you bring such good humor in your posts, and give us insight as to the life you live as a small farm girl. I do so enjoy your posts! Come on my and pick up your posts!...debbie

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

Everything takes longer when working in the snow. bleh!
It seems anytime I decide to just pop outside for a quick chore, wearing my jammies and no jacket, it seems something else happens to make my little trip more complicated.

Mmmm! Honey tea?? Bring it on!


granny said...

I have an award for you ! please drop by and pick it up :0)

Mage said...

Goodness, gracious, sakes alive, you wake me up and make me feel like a city sluggard. What a pleasure to find you.