Monday, June 23, 2014

Trying Organic

Blogger is screwing with my dashboard.  I can't see all of your blogs.  I'm trying to follow on my phone but I won't be able to comment much.  It's kind of hard to comment from my phone.  Oh well, it's all just small stuff. :0)

The heat and humidity have been pretty bad here for the last week.  I'm hoping it cools off so that I can get in the garden without getting up tooooo early.  I like early morning, but, come one, I have my limits.  hehehe.  I'm guess I AM gonna have to start getting up earlier.  That means getting to bed sooner too.  That's fine with me.  I'm not a big night owl.  Although the people I live with (Hubby and Country Girl) are.  Once again, just small stuff.I can't believe how much my out look on life has changed.  Little things don't bother me as much as they use too.  Maybe this health scare was a blessing in disguise.

 After all of this,we have been trying to eat better. Did you realize HOW MANY cookouts happen in summer time? :0)  We are trying though.  Right now, all we can do is eat what little bit we do have canned/frozen from last year's garden.  We still have a small amount of our beef left in the freezer too, but it's getting on the low side.

We have been trying to stay off wheat for a while but it's not going real good.  I thought about trying organic wheat and sugar.  We like our breads and tortillas around here.  If I start making them myself, I'll want to make them with organic flours.  Maybe it's more of the Roundup and such that is causing Hubby's problems.  We'll just have to try different things and see.  It's going to be an interesting time.  Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Wow! That was a rambling post!!!

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl, going organic

Saturday, June 21, 2014

What I've Learned. And The Results

We went to the doctor's Thursday for the results of the biopsies.  The results.........Still no cancer!  I just love saying that.  We did find out a few more things about what was going on.  Hubby not only had the baseball sized inflammation in his upper bowel, he had a smaller one on his lower bowel.  The doctor said that there were possibly two reasons for this to happen.  One, he has a inflammational bowel disease like Crohns, or two, he wasn't getting enough blood to his bowel because of something like dehydration.

Well, HELLO!!!!  Hubby never drinks water.  He almost ALWAYS drinks either ice tea or coffee.  Both drinks have caffeine, therefore they dehydrate you.  He also works outside in a factory welding and cutting metal.  A hot job!  So that's a good possibility!  Either way, Hubby and I are still happy it's not cancer.  That would take us in a whole new direction.  

The doctor is actually leaning more toward the disease, so he decided that he was going to give Hubby a new med.  This will be like an inflammatory medicine that will stay only in the bowels.  It will not go through his whole system.  We will have to go back to him in three months to see if this is helping any.  Hubby is also suppose to drink lots, and lots of water.  Hopefully this will help out the situation.  We shall see.

During this whole ordeal, Hubby and I had plenty time to talk.  By being faced with a serious illness, we have made many decisions about our lives.  One:  We are going to start taking better care of ourselves.  I know, I know, we should have done this before.  I'm sure you all can relate.  But, we figured we got a second chance and we don't want to throw that away.  We're going to try and eat as much "good stuff" from our garden and pastures instead of buying everything from the store that has been processed or is artificial.  You would think that since we have such a big farm and all, that we would be doing that already.  We weren't.  We liked lunch meat and pre-made granola bars.  We like prepackaged things like sausage and cheese.  Now, we are going to make this stuff ourselves.  We have been trying to go off of wheat, so far, not doing so good.  Maybe if we would go to organic wheat, it wouldn't be so bad.  We shall see.  I'll keep you updated on all of this.

Two:  We are tired of not getting anything done.  Sure Hubby can do a lot of the stuff around the house by himself.  Things like finish the house, build a garage, build a barn, finish the chicken house, and sooooooo much more.  The problem is, TIME.  He works 10 hr days and then on the weekends he just has maintenance stuff to do at the farm.  He doesn't have time to do everything that needs done.  With his job, he makes enough money for us to pay bills, and then we have just a tiny amount left over to buy things like feed and gas.  That won't get things done.  So that brings us to number three.

Three:  I'm going back to work.  I'm going to get a job so that I can make some money so that we can hire these things done.  We are getting at the age where we need to hurry up and do this!  Not getting any younger here!  I'm not working for fun, or to have something to do, I'm working so that we can get some of our infrastructure done around here.  That way, when we DO get older, we will have everything set up to where we (hopefully) won't have to worry about things on the farm.

Four: Stop worrying about the small stuff.  It's no big deal!  You look at things differently when something like this happens in your life.  I really don't care that Hubby smacks his gum when he chews it.  He chews gum because he quit smoking.  Look at the big picture!!!!

Five: We have started going back to church.  You can only imagine all of the "deals" that you will make with God when something like this happens. LOL!  Seriously, there were a lot of people praying for Hubby and I.  I believe that is the only reason that we got good news.  Some of you may have your opinions, and that's fine, but I will also have mine. :0)

The content of this blog may change a little.  I'll still have things about the farm and such, but it may be a little more personal.  Writing this not only let's family members know what's going on, it let's me have a "diary" of sorts, that I can look back on and see where we have come.  Don't worry, I'm not going to get all sappy on you all.  There will still be some of the "crazy happenings", I'm sure.  But I also think that you will get to actually know me and Hubby better.  I think I'm okay with that. I hope you are too.

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl, getting real

Monday, June 16, 2014

A Long And Life Changing Weekend: Part 3

Sorry I had left you guys hanging like that. lol.  Soooo many things going on right now.

Anyway,  as you would expect, I didn't get much sleep THAT night before the colonoscopy.  We kept waiting on the doctor to get there and start everything.  The nurses said he would be in that morning.  Well, I don't know where you are from, but in my neck of the woods, 4 o'clock pm IS NOT MORNING!!!!  By then, I was about at my wits end and Hubby was getting cranky because he hadn't had anything to eat since Thursday afternoon.  Well, other than blue Gatorade.  (He said he will never drink the stuff again. lol)

Finally the doc came in.  I was on pins and needles.  He was just telling us what he was going to do with the colonoscopy and about the mass that was in the beginning of Hubby colon.  I asked him what he thought and how big it was.  First off, he said it was a pretty good sized mass.  The size of a baseball.  (Oh goodness!)  Then he said he was confused because his blood count was perfect. It didn't show a significant infection. (Uh oh.)  Therefore he was leaning towards some kind of tumor. (NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!)  By that time I kind of went numb.  Colon cancer runs in Hubby's family.  The doctor said they would be coming up to get him and take him down to the procedure room any minute.

When he left, I lost it again.  I cried and cried while laying down and hugging Hubby.  I told him that I could not lose him.  He just laughed.( Like he would always do.)  And told me not to worry.

"Oh sure, no problem!"  "What, me worry? Naaaaaa. Just had something in my eye."  He kept telling me that it wasn't cancer.  "But the doc said........"  He would just shake his head.  I wished that I could be that  optimistic.

Finally they came in and got him for the colonoscopy.  I was trying to take my mind off of it.  Actually, to tell you the truth, I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be at that time.  I had asked my mom to put Hubby on the prayer list at church so I knew A LOT of people were praying for him.  Plus, my uncle and aunt put him on their prayer lists at their churches.  I had come to the terms that whatever this was, we were going to try and beat it.  It was the not knowing that was the worst.

I sat there and was watching the preliminaries of the Belmont Stakes Race.  Getting ready to hopefully see a triple crown,(Nope.) when the little nurse from the station came in.

"Ms. Small Farm Girl?"
"They need you down in the colonoscopy labs."

My heart sank.  Was it that bad?????  They had to have me down there?  Did they find something already?  Oh goodness!!!!

So I followed the small, thin nurse ALL the way across the hospital.  Now this girl had just bagged about running marathons and mud races, so by the time I had followed her to the colonoscopy dept, I was ready to just have them take me to the morgue.  I was huffin and a puffin, let me tell you.  We finally came to the department and had to be buzzed in.  I was a nervous wreck.  They kept talking to me in a hushed voice.  I followed them to where Hubby was laying in a cubical made of curtains all hooked up to machines.  He looked so helpless.  The nurse looked at me and said," Ya, we knew that it was going to be a while, so we thought you might want to come down here and keep him company."

AUUUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!  I had just about died for nothing!!!!  I had all kinds of horrible things going through my head.  They just about had to call "code blue" on ME!!!!

Hubby, like always, just laughed.  He especially laughed when I told him about how I wanted to trip that little "racer" that brought me down here so fast. lol  Then the nurses started talking about recipes that they were making, and all the food that they were going to be taking to a picnic.  Hubby, who hadn't eaten since Thursday said real loud, " I would kill for a nice juicy steak about now."  The room went silent. LOL!!!!!

Well, they finally came back and got him.  The moment of truth was before us.  I sat there and bounced my knees, I "looked" at Facebook, and sometimes, I just sat and stared.  The nurse kept coming and asking me if I wanted anything to drink.  I do believe if I had taken a drink of anything, I would have thrown up.

The next thing I knew, the doctor came out.  No expression on his face what so ever.  Oh no........  He shook my hand and said,"Ms. Small Farm Girl?"

"Uh, ya."
"It's not cancer."

It's not cancer.
It's not cancer.
One more time, IT'S NOT CANCER!!!!!!!!!!

I started to cry....again.

The doctor said that it looked to be some kind of inflammation.  He took several biopsies of it and was going to send it to the lab, but he said that he had been doing these things for many years and he could just about 100% tell it wasn't cancer.  He even gave me a picture of it.  In my opinion, it didn't look like cancer either.  :0)  He also said it could be something like an autoimmune disorder.   Maybe Crohns Disease.  Don't ask me, I don't really know what that is just yet.  I wanted to wait until we were sure what it was before I started looking things up.  I'm still on cloud nine because it's NOT CANCER!

At this time they were wheeling Hubby back into the room.  He was sleeping so soundly.  They kept trying to wake him up.  I thought, "Let the man sleep!" That's the best sleep he's had since he's been in the hospital. I was sitting there listening to him snore and pass gas.  It was the best sound in the world. (Ask me that in a few months and I'll denigh I ever said that.)  I was, at this time, still crying and laughing.  The nurse came and asked if I was okay. "These are happy tears!"  She just smiled and handed me a box of tissues and once again tried to wake Hubby.

By the time we got him "awake" and up to his room, he had asked me 5 times how things went.  And I told him and showed him the pictures each time.  I didn't care, IT WASN'T CANCER.

Hubby was let go from the hospital later the next evening.  They pumped him full of many rounds of antibiotics.  I asked him if he felt like a Tyson chicken. hehehehe  He feels much better now. He even rolled hay for our neighbor this past weekend.  He still gets a small twinge in his side every now and then, but we have another appointment with the doctor this coming Thursday.  Prayers would be appreciated at that time.  We will be narrowing down what the cause of all of this is.

In my next post, I'm going to be telling how all of this has changed our lives.  And it has!  BIG TIME!

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl, IT'S NOT CANCER

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

A Long And Life Changing Weekend: Part 2

I last left you after the lightning had hit our chimney and zapped a few of our appliances.  I was feeling kinda down.  I didn't have the extra money to replace them.  So Thursday I was kind of moping around feeling sorry for myself.  Hubby texted me and said he didn't feel good. Great!  For about a month now, Hubby had been having a "pain" in his side.  He said that it felt like someone was sticking a screwdriver between the lower ribs on the right side.  His back has also really hurt him.  So much so, he couldn't finish rolling hay for our neighbor. (He must really be hurting if he couldn't help someone.) But, Hubby has a bad back so we didn't really think much of that.

Anyway, when he came home Thursday complaining of not feeling well, I really didn't think much about it.  I mean, come one,  suck it up!  Your just being a big baby! (Women, you know what I'm talking about..... ;0)  Well, after he ate half of his bowl of chicken noodle soup, he checked to see if he had a fever.  He did!  It was 102.2.  He wasn't being a baby!  He was sick!  Instantly, I thought of the pain he was having in his side It could be something more than just his back being out of joint.  I told him we are going to the hospital.  We got in the car and I drove him to the urgent care.

Luckily we didn't have to wait long.  They took him back to see if they could help.  After the doctor checked him out, he decided that he needed a CT scan.  To do this, they would have to transport him to the bigger hospital in another city.  They were going to admit him.  WOW.  Poor guy was really sick.  I felt like such a horrible wife...... I didn't believe he was actually sick when he told me.

We waited about an hour for the hospital to find us a room and then they transported him there.  Hubby felt a lot better by that time because they had given him some "feel good" meds.  Of course the two pretty EMTs  that were transporting helped him too, I'm sure. :0)  By the time we arrived it was around Midnight.  I had to arrange for someone to take care of our animals plus make sure we had things that we needed at the hospital.  Luckily Country Girl offered to do the animals and bring us up necessities.   She's such a good young lady.

They told us as soon as we arrived in our room, that Hubby would be given something so they could do a CT scan of his abdomen.  I didn't taste the stuff, but Hubby acted like they were killing him just by making him drink it. lol.  He had to drink it every 1/2 hr before they could do the CT scan.  This kept us up all night.  They finally done the scan around 5 in the morning. Later on that morning, the dr came in to give us the news.  There was something, "Just not right," about the picture.  There was something there, but he couldn't make it out.

With that information, the small ball of fear that was in the pit of my stomach, started to become bigger.  I instantly started to think of cancer.  Colon cancer runs in his family and I have been nagging him about getting a colonoscopy.  I started to think that if I would have just made him go get one sooner maybe we wouldn't be here right now.  I was fighting back tears all day.  Now, the doctor did say that it could be something else like an infection or a blockage, but if you are like me, you always think the worst.

I call my mom and dad and tell them the better diagnosis, diverticulitis, something he ate, or my favorite, a big  poop. They come up and visited and that did make things feel a little better.  Hubby didn't really want them there, in fact, he didn't want ANYONE there.  The nurses were giving him "stuff" to "clean him out".  Hubby said that he would never drink another blue Gatorade again. lol.  They were putting the "stuff" in the Gatorade for him to drink.  But anyway, Hubby couldn't get very far from the bathroom and he didn't want people there to watch his, um, "problem".  So, Mom and Dad didn't stay long.  I told them I had to go home and check on things and get us a few items that we needed.

It was later on in the afternoon when Hubby spiked another fever.  The nurse came in and gave him some more meds and informed us that since he had another fever, they were going to do another CT scan for the new doctor that was coming in that weekend.  Hubby had to drink some more NASTY stuff.  We waited and waited.  FINALLY they came and got him for the CT scan. I was hoping beyond all hope, that the "mass" was gone.  This is the first time in my life I was hoping for poop.  When they brought him back to his room, they told us that the doctor would be tomorrow to give us the information we needed.

I decided that I would go and check out the house and get more things for us.  When I pulled into the driveway, I lost it.  I mean I LOST IT!  I sobbed.  And I'm not a crier.  I called my mom.  I couldn't even get any words out I was crying so hard.  Mom and Dad came over I just hugged them and cried. And cried, and cried.  I cried about things that I hadn't cried about for years.  I just couldn't be strong anymore and I cried some more.  I was so scared. I know the doctor hadn't said the "C" word just yet, I just KNEW!!!!!  I couldn't think of anything but losing my husband.  It still scares me now just thinking about it.

Mom and Dad helped me do a few things around the house that night and they said they would take care of the animals the next morning.  That really took a weight off of my shoulders.  I couldn't have made it through this without them.  Plus, it's nice to be able to just cry.  Like I said, I'm not a crier.  I HATE to cry.  I have always thought of crying as a sign of weakness.  Even when I would go to funerals, I wouldn't cry.  My Dad goes to a Memorial Day celebration for veterans every Memorial Day.  I won't go because I know I'll cry.  I avoid things that make me cry.  Now you understand what I'm talking about when I say that me crying like this was a big thing.

After a shower and packing a few things, Mom and Dad went home and I had to go back up to the hospital.  I was SO TIRED.  I hadn't slept in over 1 1/2 days.  I was sleep deprived drunk.  I'm glad I wasn't pulled over.  I do believe I ran a couple red lights on the way.  But, I'm glad I went back.  When I got back, Hubby had spiked another fever. Another big one.  I went to the nurses desk and told them.  They came back, gave him meds, and then it came down fast.  They couldn't do that colonoscopy fast enough for me.  They said the doctor will determine if they were going to do it next day.

I'll tell you the end tomorrow.  I'll also tell you how all of this has changed in my life.

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl, crier.

Monday, June 9, 2014

A Long And Life Changing Weekend: Part One

I don't even know where to begin when it comes to writing this post.  I have so much to say.  So much in fact, I'll probably break it up into a few posts.  Anyway, I may tell too much about our life, but I feel this story has to be told.  I don't want to sugar coat it or hide how I was feeling just so this will be a good read.  I'm going to tell the whole ugly, raw, story.

First off, Wednesday morning started out like any other day here at the farm.  It was hot and muggy but they were calling for thunderstorms that would cool things off.  Around noon, Country Girl (formally known as Glamour Girl), called me up saying that there was a tornado warning.  She was at collage in her car, and didn't know what to do.  I checked the radar and told her to come on home, she could beat the storm here.  And she did.  We sat and watched the storm go through.  No tornado.  We were happy about that.  About the time the next storm hit, Jack had tried to get underneath the window air conditioning unit and knocked it to the ground.  Country Girl and I went out in the pouring rain trying to lift it back up into the window.  It was raining so hard the water was pouring off the roof and hitting us right on top of the head.  Neither one of us could see because of the water in our eyes.  We were laughing, it was horrible that the air conditioner was probably broke, but what else can you do when something like that happens.

After we finally got it back into the window, we run back into the house.  As we turned around and looked, Jack had somehow sneaked into the house behind us.  Nothing like having a sopping wet, heavily shedding, St. Bernard running through your house.  We yelled at him and he runs into my bedroom.  Ugh!!!!  We run in there to get him out.  CG grabs his collar and he sets down.  I push from behind.  He is scooting across the concrete floor leaving a BIG wet, hair trail, behind. We finally get him outside and we turn around.  It looks like a giant indoor slip-and-slide with hair.  Ugh!  I'm in the middle of making dinner so CG grabs old towels and wipes it up.   I'm glad I have her here.

Then after Hubby comes home and we are sitting around eating fajitas, we tell him about how we think the air conditioner is broken.  By the time we tell him the story, we hear a big SNAP!  We see sparks coming out of our chimney!  It looks like someone put off a fire cracker inside our house!  Our chimney had been hit by lightning!!!!!!! We race outside to see if it had hit the house.  It hadn't, but the chimney was lightly smoking.  Then we realize that we are standing in the middle of a lightning storm. SMART!  We run back inside.  We start looking at all of our electrical things.  It zapped our phone, t.v., the brooder light for the chicks, and the most important thing of all, my new dishwasher.  AUGHHHHH!!!!!!  We haven't had this dishwasher more than 6 months.  My first dishwasher too!  I was in love with it.  Oh well, I guess it could have been worse.  It didn't burn down the house.  But at the time I asked myself, can it get any worse?  Just so you know, don't ever, EVER, EVER ask that question.  Because, it will.  And it did.......... Life changing events.

I will leave you there in suspense.  Plus,  I really want to figure out HOW I'm wanting to tell this story.  It's a very important story for me to tell.  I don't ever want to forget it.  I don't think I ever will.

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl, changed.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014


This past weekend was a busy time.  Of course, spring is always a busy time for homesteading.  Luckily (or unluckily, depends on how you look at it.), we don't have to worry about goats having babies this year.  I miss the bouncing babies, but I don't miss the part where I worry myself to death.  I always worried when it come to the goats giving birth.  We've never had a problem, other than a couple kids needing selenium, but they usually came out of the "weak knees" syndrome in a day or so.  I knew if I kept the goats any longer, I would be pushing my luck.  It would be bound to happen sooner or later.

Hubby and I also put in our garden.  We went out early in the morning, worked until the sun started to get more direct, then went out later on in the day when it was going down.  We planted 8 different types of tomatoes, two long rows of corn,(We will wait another two weeks and then plant some more.) three different types of beans, cucumbers, summer squash, two different types of hot peppers, (Thanks Catherine for getting me hooked on the peppers.) and sunflowers.  I'm probably missing something. I just can't think of it right now.  We plan on maybe planting some more things as the year goes on.  Things like beets, turnips, and maybe some onions.  Those will have to wait just a little bit later. Last year I was talking about doing a container garden.  Well, I didn't get many containers.  Plus, I couldn't pass up all the free space we have for a garden.  Sure, it's not exactly what I want, but it will work for now.  I haven't convinced Hubby of the wonders of the raised bed garden,yet.  He thinks if he can't get a tractor in it, then it won't work.

I DID convince Hubby into letting me plant trees.  In fact, he said I could plant as many trees as I want!  I'm gonna make it a forest around here!!!! hehehehe  I just LOVE trees.  There is something about trees that make a house a home.  I may change my mind when I have to mow around all of them, but I doubt it.  We shall see.

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl, planter