Oh the Horror!!!!!!

Okay, I have to take a deep breath before I tell you all this horrific story. Around this time of year, with it getting colder, small, creepy critters tend to want to come in the house. I don't like them, but I can handle mice, flies, and the occasional beetle. I can't however, handle spiders. I know, I know, they are more scared of me than I am of them. Wanna bet? I also understand that spiders help catch flies and undesirable insects. I still haven't met a insect that I hate worse than a spider.

Anyway, back to my story...... This morning I got up and put on my house coat and wondered through the house. I let Skeeter outside so she could do her business.  I turned the t.v. on just to see if the world had come to an end while I was asleep last night.  And being a little hungry, I was trying to decide what I was going to have for breakfast. I didn't want anything big and heavy, so I decided on cereal. I got my bowl, filled it with cereal, and went to get the milk out of the fridge. As I was opening the door, something caught my eye. On my shoulder was a giant field SPIDER!!!!!!

I. FREAKED. OUT. I grabbed my clothes and tore them off  like Hulk Hogan in the wrestling ring. I ran through the house into my bedroom,(why my bedroom? Have no idea.) and turned around looking at the door, panting. ( I'm actually glad that I wasn't expecting the cable guy at that time. Could you imagine the story he could have told about seeing the fat girl running through the house naked, screaming?)

Now, as I stood there, I realized I had a live spider in my house. It needed to be killed. I started looking for what I could kill it with. Fly swatter? No, to small. The spider was, after all, the size of a dog. So I look around. I spied in the corner of the room, an old tennis racket. That would work!!! I grab the racket and the fly swatter (for back up) and crept back through the house. I was on a mission. I could just hear the theme of Mission Impossible running through my head.

I spied the clothes lying on the floor. They looked so innocent. No one would know what horrors they contained.  I force myself to creep up to the clothes. I FORCED myself to take the tennis racket and move the clothes. The spider jumped out onto the top of the clothes.  Once again, I go screaming through the house, still naked.  (I'm so glad I live far enough outside of civilization I don't have to worry about people looking in my windows.) I'm back into my bedroom, facing the door, panting, again.

Okay, SFG, you have got to calm down. You are on a mission and you have to achieve victory over the monster spider! I creep back out to the kitchen. I see the spider is still on my clothes. It's just waiting on me.  Oh gosh!  Okay, okay, now what? I can't just hit it with the fly swatter. What if I miss? What if it jumps on me?  Throw a shoe at it! I frantically look around for a shoe. I see one by the door. I grab two, you know, just for back up.  I creep back towards the enemy. It's watching me, I can tell. I throw the shoe, and then the other one. I think I wounded it! I pounce! I'm beating my clothes to a pulp with the tennis racket and the fly swatter all at the same time. Die spider, die!!!!!!

I jump back, panting, and looked. In the middle of my clothes there is a small stain that was once the dreaded spider. "Take that spider!!!!!" I yell at the stain. At that time the cat rubs it's tail against my leg. I scream, run into the bedroom, turn around, and look back at the door, panting.

I think I've had enough for today. I think I'm just going to sit on the couch all day and drink hot chocolate. I can't take much more stress.

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl, spider hunter.

Fear

You know, I think of myself as a brave person. I'm not afraid of much of anything. When we had two snakes INSIDE our house a few years ago, I was the one that killed one. Don't even know where the other one went. It got away. That didn't bother me. When we had a rat in the house, that made me more mad than scared.  I'm not scared of the mice that visit our house every once in a while. Nope, no fear here. Except.....
when it comes to spiders.

Aaaauuggghhhh!!! I can't stand spiders! I know I'm bigger than they are. I know all I have to do is step on them. I know that a snake is more deadly than the spiders that we have around here. (We will find a black widow every once in a while.) I know all of this. I doesn't matter!  I HATE SPIDERS!

I don't know what it is about them that freaks me out. Is it the way that they walk? Just thinking about it sent a shiver up my spine. Is it the fact that they can hide almost anywhere? (Another shiver) Or is it the fact that there are so many spiders? ( Ok, double shiver) I don't know. I just don't like any of it.

When (or if) Hubby gets this new job, he will have to be gone from the house for 8 to 10 weeks. WHO will kill my spiders? I'm not going to call up my neighbor. I would be to embarrassed.

All I know is that this time of the year, the spiders bring it on themselves to give me a heart attack whenever I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. Almost EVERY TIME!!!Enough already! Then I go back and wake up Hubby so he can kill it. The good guy that he is, he doesn't complain.

The spiders that are invading us right now, are not your run-of-the-mill spiders. Ooooohhhhh NO! They are the elephant size suckers that could eat our St. Bernard.  I mean, they are HUGE!!!!! I believe that Skeeter, my weenie dog, hides in our room so that they won't take her.  No joke people! lol.

When Hubby does go out of town for his training, don't be surprised if you hear about some woman shooting a hole in her house because she was trying to kill a spider. I mean, I'm going to have to kill them some how.

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl, spider hunter.

Rambling

Have you ever went back to check out all of the blogs that you follow? I did that today. Quite a bit of them no longer have an active blog. I say "not active" when it has been more than 4 months sence any activity. So I just quit following them. Now I have more space to put blogs that I do follow.

We are possibly getting city water out here in no-man's land. I'm not sure how I feel about it. My clothes would like to have city water. They could actually get clean now. What I'm not sure about, is drinking it. I don't like to rely on someone else when it comes to our water. Is it clean? What are they putting in it? Will I have to pay a lot of money for it? Will there be enough pressure? Will I have to constanly be under a boil order? See, not sure what I think about getting it. We will keep our well and cistern to water plants and animals though. I don't like putting city water on my plants. Usually there is clorine in the water. Plants don't like clorine. I will probabley get the water tap, but I just don't think I'll drink it. I'm not wild about city water taste. Not wild about the clorine myself either.

One good thing that is coming out of getting water, is our road is getting widened. Right now our road is barely wide enough for one car. There are also many blind curves. Many accidents have occured because of our road. Have you ever seen a UPS truck hit a mail truck? I have. Luckily our road is gravel so speed isn't usually involved in the accidents. Although, sometimes it is. I'll take some pictures later to show you the progress. I wished I had some before pictures to compare.

I am happy to announce that we did NOT have to kill any spiders last night. And, the cricket has moved on. Maybe the spiders ate the cricket and then died of food poisoning. I could happen. lol

Well I hope my rambling hasn't comfused you too much. hehehhe

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl,rambiler