Wednesday, March 18, 2015

It Wasn't A Pretty Sight

I have been feeling, well, not so fit lately.  Of course when you are my size that's not uncommon.  So, I thought I would do something about it and try to be more flexible.  I was going to try yoga.......I've been telling myself for years that yoga would help me get stronger and have more flexibility.  So I decided that today was the day.  No more excuses.

So I got my yoga pants on. (Oh who am I kidding?  I already had them on. lol)  I looked on Youtube for "yoga for beginners" videos.  I found quite a few of them.  Good!  I would have many to choose from.  As I was looking through them, I noticed one for beginners and weight loss.  Great!!!  Two birds with one stone!

I clicked on it to see what it was like.  A cheery, squeaky voiced, tooth pick of a girl was trying to tell me to sit like she was and if I couldn't I should use a blanket.  Of course she said she didn't need it so she wasn't going to use it.  I made it through 3 minutes with the squeaky cheerleader and had to change videos.

The next one I watched I thought I could handle.  So I got on the floor (concrete floor. I didn't have a yoga mat yet.) with my blanket and tried to do what she was doing.  Inhale....exhale.....  I can do this.  Now bring your legs in and sit cross legged.  When I was young, we called that Indian style. Well, I did the best I could, even with a blanket tucked under my bum.  Raise your arms over your head slowly.  Inhale....exhale.....  Reach for the sky.  Yep, still can do it.

Then she said to get up on all fours.  With bad knees and a concrete floor, it wasn't too comfortable, but I did it.  She said to arch your back like a cat, then do the opposite and bring your belly down towards the floor.  I wasn't real good at this, but I did it.  I think the concrete and the knees had something to do with this.

Next move she said to do what is called the downward dog.  Place you feet on the floor while your hands were still on the floor and push your bum up into the air making an A out of your body.  I did.  All of this time, she is telling me to inhale..... and exhale....  Well, what this little stick figure of a woman didn't understand, is that big breasted women CAN'T inhale and exhale in this position.  I was being smothered!  Blood was rushing to my head and my face was turning red.  All the time I was hearing this little voice in the background, "Inhale......Exhale...." .   Surely this woman has never had big boobs! I was about to pass out!

After about another minute of this misery, I gave up and watched a cat video.  There. That made me fill better.

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl, Master Yoga pants wearer.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Embarrassment

I wasn't sure if I should write this story but the people I told it to say I just HAD to write it.  It's extremely embarrassing to me,but at the same time, extremely funny.  I just want to warn you though, if you have any aversion to stories about body functions, do not read this.  I repeat...DO NOT READ THIS!  You have been warned.

We have been hit with a massive snow storm here in KY.  We ended up getting around 18 inches of snow.  Now if you don't really know how deep 18 inches are, just imagine on ME that's just a little over knee high snow.  That's a lot of snow!  Nothing was moving for a while.  No cars could go anywhere because they kept bottoming out in the deep snow.

Anyways, my parents had to go up to my sisters house in Ohio before the storm hit.  My niece was sick and in the hospital. (She's better now. YAY!)  While they were up there Hubby and I were to feed their dogs.  That normally was no big deal, but when you have 18 inches of snow, it's kinda hard to go up half a mile of driveway with a steep switchback in the middle of it.  We figured we could do it though.

We started out okay at the beginning.  We were pushing snow with our small SUV.  The snow was so deep it was coming up over the hood and hitting the windshield.  We made it up to the switch back in the road and then we got stuck. We couldn't make it up the hill.  We slid and bottomed out.  We were stuck.  I told Hubby that we were gonna have to hoof it to the top of the hill.  Not fun when you are doing this in really deep snow.  Luckily we had on our tall Muck boots. (Worth every penny we spent on them.)  We started to walk the hill when all of a sudden, I had an extreme urge to pee.  I mean, gonna explode pee.  We had just eaten at a Mexican restaurant before we went to feed the dogs. It was the first time we had been out for a while, might as well enjoy it.  Anyway, I had a lot of water to drink and I guess I should have went to the bathroom before I left the restaurant.

So, I tell Hubby to go on up without me. I would be up in a minute.  I go back to the car and look for napkins.  Ladies, you understand me when I say napkins in the glove box of a car are essential. There was 2.  That's it.  Only 2 small, tiny tissues.  Well, they would just have to work.

Then all of a sudden, I had this feeling. The feeling deep down in your bowls of rumbling.  The feeling that if at any moment you would have to sneeze, you had better be on a toilet.  Great....... The Mexican restaurant had given me food poisoning, and all I had was 2 tinky, tiny, napkins........

Well, if you are a homesteader, I'm sure you have used the bathroom outside. I've never done it though, in snow that was almost up to my hiney.  So as I'm squatting to pee, the food poisoning hits me again.  BAM!  No control......  Great.  In my mind though I thought,"I can handle this. No one will know.  I've went in outhouses before, what's the difference? Right?"  Girls, I don't know if you have ever tried to wipe standing up.....  Sure no problem when your setting down, but standing in thigh high snow is another story.  I swear I was doing some yoga moves that they hadn't even invented yet. And all this time trying not to plant it into the deep snow.

Anyway, once I was "done,"  I threw some snow over the evidence and tried to keep it from being so conspicuous.  I didn't want anyone to know what I had done.  I wondered what I could do with my 2 tiny napkins?  "I got it! I would just throw them in the small creek on the other side of the car. They were biodegradable."

I trekked around to the other side of the car and threw them in the swiftly running creek and as I was coming back around to where I had done the deed, I glanced up into the trees and noticed a CAMERA!!!!!!  My dad had his field camera mounted on a tree, aimed in my direction.  AAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!   The whole thing was caught on camera!!!!!!!! I'm gonna die!!!!!!!!  You might as well kill me now!

I finally made it up to my parents house and instantly called my mom. Of course while I'm telling her this, she's laughing so hard she can't breath so she puts me on speaker phone for alllllllll the people around her to hear.  Gotta love your parent's since of humor.  I'm begging her to get the camera and delete the pictures before Dad sees them.  There are just some things that you don't want your dad to see after a certain age, and me pooping in the woods is one of them.

So the moral of the story is, don't just assume that you are alone in the woods.  Someone is ALWAYS watching......

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl, shameless

P.s.  You would think the old question of "Does the bear poop in the woods?" would have already been solved......

P.s.s.  The batteries were dead in the camera.  Hallelujah!

P.s.s.s.  Now I think you all know WAY too much about me.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Tease

As I type this it 45 degrees and raining hard.  I found out today, while I was doing chores in the downpour, I still like rain much better than I like snow.  I will gladly trudge through water with my Muck boots while I dump water pans and change out hay in the rabbit pens.

For the last million few days, it's been nothing but an ice skating rink around here. We had some snow around the first of February and it has been cold and snowy ever since. Today, TODAY, is the first day that I actually got to see grass.  The chickens were happy because they got to go outside and scratch around.  Although everything was under water, they didn't care.  I understand chickens, I understand.....

Now for the bad news........  We are suppose to get 12 inches of snow tonight.  That's right, a FOOT of snow.  I think I'm going to cry...
(taken with cell phone)


This is the last of the snow/ice that slid off our roof to land in front of our door.  I'm sure there will be more tomorrow.......

I'm so done with this winter.  I don't even want to look at the seed magazines that I'm getting in the mail.  I don't want to get my hopes up.  I keep telling myself that surely there won't be any snow in June.  But, the way this winter is going, I'm not even sure that is true.

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl, snow hater.


Monday, March 2, 2015

The First Farm Outing


We have come up with names for the puppies.  The black one is named Holley.  The blue merle is called Chassis.  Can ya tell I live with a gear head.  He just had to name them after car part. lol.  They know their names already.  I can call one and it come to me.  I can call the other and then she will come to me.  Unless they are outside.  Holley LOVES to be outside and doesn't want to come back in.  Chassis, well she likes it for a little while, but she's ready to come in a lot faster than Holley.  Of course, it's still cold and snowy outside.  I just know she will love it when it gets warmer.
We ALL will........ 

So far the puppies have very distinct personalities.  Holley is more independent.  She will go and do her own thing.  Chassis is more a people puppy.  She wants to be with people all the time.  She wants to please you as best as she can.  Holley, well........... she's a whole other story.  I should have called her Miss Independent. 

In this picture, Hubby was trying to get the puppies to come back into the house.  As you can see, Chassis was all for it.  Holley, not so much. HA!



They loved their first big outing at the farm. They explored.



They ran and played.




They became mighty hunters.



Fun was had by all.  



So until next time,

Small Farm Girl, puppy wrangler

Monday, February 23, 2015

We've Lost Our Minds

That's right, we done lost our minds.  With the house being in a mess because of the construction, and with us doing extra work with the animals because of the cold, and with the house temperatures  struggling to get out of the 50's, we lost our minds.  "Why?" you ask.  Well, because we went and bought this.


And while we were buying this, we ended up buy this too.




That's right, TWO puppies. Sweet little Australian Shepherds puppies.


They look so sweet and innocent. but one little move.....

And it's on!

And on...




And on....



And on...



After this romp, they both went into their carrier and went to sleep.  I've had Australian dogs before, but I've never had Australian puppies.  They are sooooo smart.  Scary smart.   They are getting the pee pad thing down pretty good.  Although right now, they are like watching two toddlers without diapers.  Ya gotta watch where ya step. lol

So now you know what my days will be filled with.

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl, Aussie owner, again.





Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Nothing.

I've lost my get up and go.  I have NO desire to do anything, nothing, nada.  That's one of the reasons you haven't been blogging.  I haven't even read any of the blogs that I normally follow.  I am lucky to get out of bed in the mornings.  I'm not depressed.  I still laugh and things, I just have lost all gumption to do anything.

I'm blaming the horrible weather that we're having.  It's snowing and blowing and it is cold, face hurting cold.  I do do the animal chores.  They take me four times as long as they normally do.  I make sure everyone has fresh hay or straw, water, and feed.  Everyone gets tucked in so that this horrible wind (windchill around -30) doesn't get to them.  That's some dangerous stuff right there.

After I do the animal chores, I come into the house and make me some nice hot tea.  I need it after being out.  I sit down on the couch for a little bit to warm up and drink my tea.  I'm putting off bringing more wood into the house.  My knees, my ankle, and my wrist (a problem that I've had for years) hurts badly.  I also think the reason I hurt is because the bone chilling cold.  I'm hoping that when it warms up I won't hurt as much.  I think going to break down and go to the doctor. I hate going to the doctor but  I'm tired of the hurting.

I finally get the energy to go and get a wheelbarrow full of wood into the house.  This should last until right before we go to bed.  Then we get another wheelbarrow full to last through the night.  I usually get up through the night and add more wood to the stove.  I let Hubby sleep because he has to get up early and go to work.  It's the least I can do.  I get to stay under the warm covers a few more hours.

Yes, the whole getting up early with Hubby didn't pan out.  Right now is not the best time to get up early.  That just means I will have to crank the wood burner up and that means using more wood.  Wood that is very low right now.  We have 55 acres of pasture, but not much of wooded area.  We usually have to go off the farm for wood.  And when it's this cold, I really don't want to have to get out and cut wood.  So instead of getting up and trying to get the house warm, I'm just staying in bed, under the covers.  That's were it feels the best right now anyway.

We have put up some of the insulation board.  We still have more to go, but we are working on it.  It's hard to have construction going on in the area that you also have to live in.  I don't like having insulation in my morning eggs.  It doesn't taste all that good. lol.  The little bit of insulation that we do have up is helping quite a bit.  I didn't realize how much it would help. Hopefully as we put up more, it will help more with keeping it warm in here.

Well, I guess I'm done complaining.  I just wanted you to know what was going on around here.  I'm hoping for warmer weather with everything that I have.  I don't really know if that will help though. lol

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl, doing nothing.


Thursday, February 5, 2015

Perfectionist

My name is Sherri and I'm a perfectionist.  Not many people know that about me. To look at me you would never know.  I'm overweight.  I have a dirty house.  Our farm is a mess. My car looks like something exploded inside of it.  But yet, I know, I'm a perfectionist.

I was watching The Homesteading Channel on my Roku (best channel EVER!) and I would see things that someone was doing, something simple like pulling the cord to start a chainsaw.  They used that chainsaw to cut up some REALLY small branches of wood for a fire that they were using.  In my mind I thought," He pulled that chainsaw wrong. Why would he be wasting his time cutting up that small wood?  Why not go for bigger chunks of wood?" Then I realized, why does that matter?  He got the chainsaw started and he cut up branches that he had so he didn't waste the wood.  But yet, all I could see was how he could be "better".

I also have this same attitude toward cleaning my house.  I REALLY wanted to clean my microwave.(I use it for storage more than anything.)  But in my mind, I knew that if I cleaned of the kitchen table I would see a bigger area cleaned.  But I REALLY wanted to clean the microwave.  I know this is not a big deal for some of you, but I will have these conflicts in my brain for a long time.  Long enough to where I won't get ANYTHING done.  I should have just cleaned the microwave and had at least ONE thing done.

I'm the same way with my diet.  If I fall of the wagon and eat a chocolate chip cookie, well then, my diet is ruined for that day.  I might as well just eat more junk.  I must be weak.  I can't stay on a diet.  See how my mind works.  Scary I know.

What makes it worse is I expect other people to live up to my high standards.  Standards that I, myself, can't live up to.  And because of this, I get mad at people for being messy or not starting a chainsaw right.  :0)  At least they can start a chainsaw!  I can't!

So I'm going to try something new this weekend. (I'm starting small)  I'm going to not be so critical about stuff. (I'm sure my family will be happy.  :0)  )  If I want to clean a small area the size of a dime, I'm going to do it.  At least that small area will be done.  If I eat that cookie, I will say, "Wow!  That tasted good."  and them move on.  I'm going to do things that I've wanted to do but always worried that I couldn't do them "right".  I'm going to quit thinking that I should be doing something else instead of what I want to do.   This will be very hard for me.  As I look back, I've been like this for a while now.  I'm my own worst critic.

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl, perfectionist.