I have been feeling, well, not so fit lately. Of course when you are my size that's not uncommon. So, I thought I would do something about it and try to be more flexible. I was going to try yoga.......I've been telling myself for years that yoga would help me get stronger and have more flexibility. So I decided that today was the day. No more excuses.
So I got my yoga pants on. (Oh who am I kidding? I already had them on. lol) I looked on Youtube for "yoga for beginners" videos. I found quite a few of them. Good! I would have many to choose from. As I was looking through them, I noticed one for beginners and weight loss. Great!!! Two birds with one stone!
I clicked on it to see what it was like. A cheery, squeaky voiced, tooth pick of a girl was trying to tell me to sit like she was and if I couldn't I should use a blanket. Of course she said she didn't need it so she wasn't going to use it. I made it through 3 minutes with the squeaky cheerleader and had to change videos.
The next one I watched I thought I could handle. So I got on the floor (concrete floor. I didn't have a yoga mat yet.) with my blanket and tried to do what she was doing. Inhale....exhale..... I can do this. Now bring your legs in and sit cross legged. When I was young, we called that Indian style. Well, I did the best I could, even with a blanket tucked under my bum. Raise your arms over your head slowly. Inhale....exhale..... Reach for the sky. Yep, still can do it.
Then she said to get up on all fours. With bad knees and a concrete floor, it wasn't too comfortable, but I did it. She said to arch your back like a cat, then do the opposite and bring your belly down towards the floor. I wasn't real good at this, but I did it. I think the concrete and the knees had something to do with this.
Next move she said to do what is called the downward dog. Place you feet on the floor while your hands were still on the floor and push your bum up into the air making an A out of your body. I did. All of this time, she is telling me to inhale..... and exhale.... Well, what this little stick figure of a woman didn't understand, is that big breasted women CAN'T inhale and exhale in this position. I was being smothered! Blood was rushing to my head and my face was turning red. All the time I was hearing this little voice in the background, "Inhale......Exhale...." . Surely this woman has never had big boobs! I was about to pass out!
After about another minute of this misery, I gave up and watched a cat video. There. That made me fill better.
So until next time,
Small Farm Girl, Master Yoga pants wearer.