Saturday, August 8, 2015

Dreams And "Gonna's"

There comes a time in a persons life when they have to step back and look at reality.  I have found that my reality is warped. LOL!  I am a dreamer and a "gonna-er". I dream big dreams and I always tell myself, and other people, things that I'm "gonna do".  I looked back on some of my blog posts and read about all the things I'm "gonna" do.  Whether it's "gonna" post pictures of something, or start teaching homesteading classes here on the farm.  I have written about many different things that I'm "gonna" do.

By now, if you have followed this blog for any amount of time, you know I don't always do what I say I'm "gonna" do.  I didn't actually realize how many times I do this!!!!  It's not that I tell you something that I'm going to do and sit back and laugh and say to myself," No way am I going to do that."  No!  I honestly think I'm "gonna" do it! I either get involved in something else and figure you have all forgot about what I was "gonna" do, I forget, or I simply get overwhelmed with all the things that I say I'm "gonna" do, and give up all together.

What adds to my "gonna do"s, is my ability to dream big.  I mean BIG.  My mind is constantly thinking of the next big thing.  The problem with that is I usually haven't finished the thing I was "gonna" do before. I'm in a constant state of dreaming and "gonna doing".  Because of this, there are so many projects of mine that do not get done.  Chicken coop built, cleaning the house, butchering the rabbits on time, paint that painting, spin that wool, write that article

and the list goes on and on.  Finally, this past week, I told myself that enough is enough.  My brain is overloaded.  It's time to erase, start over, and down size my dreams and "gonna" list.

First on this list is the garden.  One year I was "gonna do" container gardening. Then I realized that if I had containers, Jack (our St. Bernard) will pee on every container that we have. He does this to any flower pot I have on the ground. lol.  We also have decent garden soil so why would I want to waste that.  Just about every Spring, we think we're going to have this huge garden and we are "gonna" have the whole pantry full of canned goods.  It starts out that way, the garden looks soooo nice when it's freshly tilled and the small plants are sticking up out of the ground.  Then the heat hits, or like this year, the rains hits.  Hubby, nor I, can (or wants to) get out into the garden and keep up with the, at that time, small weeds.  The weeds then take over the garden and we are overwhelmed once again by the enormous job it would be to go weed the "jungle."

This past week, we both had a good, honest talk about our garden.  We need to stop listening to people, that are trying to help, and start thinking about what we can REALLY do with the time we have to put into it.  So BOTH of us have decided to downsize our garden.  We don't really need 125 tomato plants.  With that many we get overwhelmed real easy.  We don't take care of them and they don't produce anything or worse,they rot or go to waste.  With a smaller amount of tomatoes (like 6-10 plants) we will have the "want to" to actually do something with them.  There won't be so many to overwhelm us.  By doing this, we will probably get a better yield of tomatoes anyway.  We are doing this with the whole garden.  Next year we aren't going to feel like there is just too much to do with it. I really think we will enjoy it so much better.

Now that Hubby and I had this talk, we are looking at things differently for our whole farm.  We need to eat this elephant one small bite at a time instead of all at once.  Believe it or not, a big farm isn't all it's cracked up to be.  Especially when you don't have anyone to help take care of it with you. I have actually envied people that have just a few acres. To keep us sane, instead of thinking big, we are thinking small.  Just doing one small project at a time.  Both of us will be happier and more willing to get projects done.  Instead of redoing the whole 55 acres of fence line, do a small amount at a time.  Sooner or later, all of the fence will be fixed and hopefully we won't have to mess with it for a while.

I think this talk has helped us tremendously. I didn't realize how stressed we were thinking of all the stuff we were "gonna" do.  As we do the small things, we will gradually add more.  It's always easier to start small and get bigger. I'm sure there are some of you out there in Blog Land that could take over and have a nice BIG producing farm, but for us, starting over and going small (at first) will be a blessing.

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl, ex-gonna-er


Donna said...

You are singing my song. And describing my garden. I really did have intentions of a having a smaller garden this year, but you know how that goes. I can't say I'm sorry for planting all the sweet corn in six different plantings, though. It was the main big success I had this year. I've never in my life had over 18 tomato plants, and have often canned (back when the kids were home) 100 quarts of tomatoes. This year of course, no number of plants would have produced enough. Oh, and there is one crop that will succeed many times even in a weed patch: Potatoes! It's as though they don't even know the weeds surround them.

Katidids said...

I did the same thing this year...down sized the garden. I have 25 tomato plants and 2 20 ft rows of beans etc. I think you had the same flooding we did & lost a few of the tomato. It's much easier to maintain and not so overwhelming. I'm finding my use of the produce is much more productive as well.
We made 2 was an overall to-do list with what we'd like to accomplish for the year
the second list was broken down to monthly/weekly/daily goal lists with options to change up tasks as money or time/materials permitted. Like you, we were feeling like it would take months to get "caught up". Much more manageable now....and I'm finding the joy in this rural life again

Wendy said...

I got behind on everything this spring and downsized my garden just because I never got it planted. I had planned to make it bigger, and add more perennials. As it turned out, I'm finding it much more manageable, and more productive. It's also opened my eyes to better possibilities for the future.

Good luck with sorting yours out and making it work for you!

Leigh said...

What an excellent post. I know we get caught up in what we want to do versus reality. All the things on our to-do list are good things, but it is so easy to get overwhelmed. Taking time to evaluate and then planning out those small bites really does help.

Felinae said...

Our backyard garden was never very big to begin with, well the first year it was, but then we downsized it by more than 1/2, then a gopher moved in and completely eradicated it. Now the husband is rethinking it for next season, I want raised planter beds that are at least waist high so I don't have to bend and aggravate my sciatic nerve. We'll see how that goes. :)

Good luck with your new plans, you'll find a rhythm that works for you.


Kris said...

I've had "the talk" with myself over the past couple of years. Last year I gave up the big garden, moved to a smaller bed, cut way back, but still had to contend with trying to GET AT my veg due to the heavy netting etc necessary to keep off the deer. This year I've gone a step further. My veg are now in a fenced container garden close to the house (and the water barrels). I don't expect much, but my goal now is to get 'enough' to make soup stock, green beans, summer cukes, some onions, some peppers. I'm tired of fighting the deer, the dry and my own ridiculous expections. I'm not a farmer. I'm not a market. And I don't really have to grow so much that I have extra to give away. Good for you and your plans to downsize. Really, as I get older and have fewer resources (not so much $ but health) I find that less is turning out to be more enjoyable. Good luck! Keep us posted. :-D