Too Stubborn For My Own Good

Sometimes being stubborn is a good thing.  Sometimes being stubborn is a bad thing.  This time it was a dumb thing.  For three years now, I've had knee problems.  Some days I couldn't even stand for more than 3 mins.  It was excruciating getting out of bed in the morning.  And if I didn't sleep "just right", my knee would wake me up in the middle of the night screaming for relief.  I've mentioned my knee a few time to my Dr, but I've always told him it would be fine.  I just need to take some more aspirin or ibuprofen.  For 3 years I've not been able to walk up to do the feeding of the animals without riding my four wheeler up the small hill to where they were.  I couldn't hardly get out of the truck at times because I knew when I'd slide down to the ground (Its a tall truck), I'd feel a stab of pain in my knee and possibly go to the ground myself. For three years, I put my farm life on the back burner because I couldn't do anything.  It's one of the many reasons I sold my goats.  It wasn't fair for me to have animals that I couldn't take care of.

The Dr. prescribed me some steroid pill to take.  Me being stubborn, I refused to take them.  I don't like taking pills if I don't really have to.  I would be fine.  Well, it got to where I really couldn't do anything.  I had gained MANY pounds, my back started hurting, my other knee started hurting. I was going down hill fast because of lack of activity.  But, I couldn't help it.  I COULDN'T do anything.

Last weekend was the last straw.  I was standing in Lowe's with Hubby picking out things for our house and I had to leave and go sit in the truck.  I couldn't stand and look and I could hardly walk.  Plus, I had to go grocery shopping after that.  After grocery shopping, I barely got through the line before I was almost crying with pain.  At that moment I decided I wasn't going to live like this.  I didn't want Hubby taking care of me like I was an invalid at the age of 41.  I didn't care what I had to do, I was going to do something.  So to begin with, I would take the steroids that the Dr. prescribed to me.

So on day one of the steroids, I was to take 2 pills before breakfast, then one after lunch, one after dinner, and then 2 before I went to bed.  Then I  was suppose to gradually decrease the amount of pills per day until I was done.  Well, after the first 2 pills,  I felt sick.  I means pukey sick.  I'm not one to get sick to my stomach, so this was horrible to me.  I thought I had made a mistake.  What had I done?  I sat down and wished this feeling to go away.  Breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out, for about half an hour.  Then............

I felt WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!  No more pain!!!!!!!!!  My knees quit hurting!!!!!!!!  My back felt better, my legs quit hurting, and I felt years younger!!!!! What WAS this wonderful feeling?  I hadn't been without pain for so long it felt strange, but yet, wonderful.  I keep using that word. Yes, it means what I think it means. (hehehe) But that's the only way I can describe how I feel.  The next pill was the same but the sickness didn't last as long.  I still felt wonderful.

I'm on day 4 of the pills.  I've lost 5 lbs just because of all the stuff I've been doing.  I'm hoping this feeling is permanent.  I hope I don't go back to the way it was.  If I do, I might just have to check out the black market for steroids. lol.  Okay, I won't go that far, but I do know that I can feel better now.  I know that the pain is not the way that I have to live.  Would I have liked to do it the natural way, yes.  But sometimes, you just have to do what you have to do.  I also know now, not to be so stubborn.  Sometimes the Dr. does know what he's talking about.

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl, pain free, finally