Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Almost

I have been away from the blog world for a while.  I've been in a slump.  We have water now. But, going without water for so long, and it being so cold for so long, just go to me.  I sat around the house just watching t.v.  There wasn't anything good on, (I hate tv!) but I just couldn't make myself get up.  Sure, I could have cleaned up the house, but why?  It would be there the next day.  It was getting serious folks.

Then one day a friend, that I use to work with, called me out of the blue.  She just had a work question, but it was nice to hear from her.  She had changed places of business.  When you are a nail tech and put fake nails on people, you can just about work anywhere.  Clients will come.  She invited me to go and visit her new place, so I did.  It was NICE!  We talked like I hadn't even left the bizz.  She suggested that I come back to work, maybe just as a part time nail tech.  Hmmmmmmm  Sounds interesting.

So I went home with something to think. real hard. about.  And I did!  I thought about it over and over and over.  It kept me up at night.  Would this be a good thing?  It would be nice having extra money for things for the farm.  Maybe get a new tractor, maybe money to build a barn, or maybe money to finish the house.  I asked Hubby what he thought about it and like he does most of the time, he said that it was up to me.  Auuuuughhhhh!!!!  So I thought some more and some more.  Then I decided to visit with my friend again and just sit and see how things were and maybe talk to the owner to see about getting a job.

The next day I drove to town.  It seemed like it was a long drive.  As I drove to the salon, I kept getting a bad feeling about the whole thing.  I kept chalking it up as just cold feet about going back to work.  I arrived at the salon and saw my friend and talked to her for a while.  Then I got to sit in on a section of nails with her.  It was an old client of hers that I knew.  It was nice to talk to her for a little, but then I got to thinking,  it's the same ole, same ole.  The same stories, the same questions, the same problems.  I started wanting to leave and get back home.  I sat there for a little while longer then I felt I had to leave.  I asked my friend to talk to the owner of the salon to see about an opening.  I then said my good-byes and left.

For two days I had a bad feeling in my gut.  I kept focusing on the extra money.  I mean, the job was only part time.  Going back to work couldn't be THAT bad.  Could it?  Well, yesterday I talked to my friend to find out if she had talked to the owner.  She had.  He told her that they just didn't have the room yet.  They are doing some remodeling and maybe then, but right now they didn't have room for me.

WOW! I had a huge relief wash over me.  It was like a big weight was lifted off of my chest.  It was like I took a deep breath after holding it for a long time.  I didn't realize how much I didn't want to go back to work at a salon.  It's not my place anymore.  It's a place of being fake and a place where people tell deep dark secrets.  I just don't want to be in that place anymore.  It's not for me.  I have moved on.  And this whole episode of going back to work, proved it.

I DID find out a few things about myself though.
 One: I DO NOT want to go back to work. (Unless it's necessary. )
 Two: I NEED to do something to bring in money around the house. I do things around the house, but I know that we could use the extra money to make this place better.
 Three: I HAVE to get out more often. (At least until this weather breaks.) I'm really becoming a hermit.  I would rather stay in my little hole in the ground then face the world.  I can't be like that.  I find that I'm losing my spunk.  I have to go out and interact with people, at least a little bit. It gets me out of my funk.


It's nice to know these things about myself.  I really thought I could be a hermit.  I found out that while I DO enjoy my "me" time at home, I have to have some kind of interaction with people to keep me going.

So, now you are wondering what I'm going to do?  Well.............  That will be for a future post. hehehehe

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl,  not gonna be a hermit.




13 comments:

Peacemom said...

I'm facing the same dilemma up here, friend. I need to go back to work to support this new place, but I can't see where I fit in anymore. If you come up with any brainstorm ideas of how to make money on the farm, share with me, and I'll do the same! Hang in there, and good for you for learning about yourself in that situation. ~Vonnie

small farm girl said...

Thank you Vonnie. I'll keep you updated. Lol

Robbyn said...

does this mean your second career tap dancing on tabletops is about to take off?? :-D heehee I totally understand about these choices...and about being relieved when something that doesn't feel exactly right becomes clear...God is good about giving that clarity. Can't wait to see what's taking off in your new ventures!

small farm girl said...

Robbyn, you wasn't suppose to tell anyone about the tap dancing on the table tops gig! Lol!!!! I'll let you all know if what I'm thinking pans out. ;-)

Pete in Texas said...

Have you been paying attention to the weather? California produces most of our fresh fruit, nuts and vegetables – but they have been in a serious drought condition which will seriously affect their ability to produce this coming year. Central and South America have also had weather problems. With fresh vegetables in short supply this may be an ideal year to put in a good sized market garden.
Look at your assets. You have sufficient land to put in a good sized garden. You enjoy gardening. You have the time NOW to plant seed and nurture your own seedlings so you can keep input costs to a minimum. You have livestock that produce the manure to fuel a good compost pile. Take a look at your marketing potential. Do you have a nearby farmers market? Maybe a good spot with traffic that would support a roadside stand? As a less profitable alternative – possibly a local grocery store that would consider buying and selling your produce?
You will bring home more cash as an entrepreneur than you will by working for somebody else. Look for something where your lifestyle provides you with an unfair advantage – and profit from it.

Kellie from Indiana said...

What an insightful journey. This winter has been a rough one for almost everyone, physically and emotionally. But I really understand your position, as I was in the same place just different kind of job and dealing with mental patients. I got burned out. Really burned out. I consider going back to work all the time but for financial reasons only. In the end what good is money for me if Im a hot mess, not a thing.

Elizabeth Lisa said...

Wow Pete in Texas is spot on. I would do it if I had the means to. I can see the tide turning on our habits of purchasing fresh fruits and veg.
I too worked for over 20 years in a salon, and it is SO FAKE. I will never ever go back!

Robbyn said...

You could raise fake chinchillas for the fake fur market. Wait, NO!!! that's what we're going to do and we want a corner on the market (oops!!) Ah, well...you can monopolize Kentucky fake furs and I'll monopolize Florida's. You know what a real demand we have for them down here...ha!! :-D

small farm girl said...

I've thought about all of that. I will say there are farmers markets on every corner here in KY. People go to these for cheap food. I mean CHEAP! I do have a few people that do buy stuff off of me. I'll stick with them. :-)

small farm girl said...

Kellie, that is how I feel!!!! I'm glad you understand.

small farm girl said...

I'm going to do a small amout of selling produce. Our markets are flooded. More people are coming over to our side though. I'm glad you understand about the fakeness of the salon. It gets old quick!

small farm girl said...

Ooooohhhhhh! Good idea!!!!!!!!! :-b

Anonymous said...

I heard about someone who sold homegrown tomatoes, but gave that up when they found they were making better money selling their bagged, homegrown compost. Mesquite