I sold all of my goats. I have mixed feelings about it. When the man who bought them left, I actually cried, and I'm not a crier. I can't hardly describe my feelings. It's like I broke up a long relationship with a boyfriend who I know wasn't good for me. It makes it worse because this is like a "first love" relationship. The goats were my "first love" when it come to farm animals. (My horses don't count.) It feels weird when I think about them. When I go outside I don't hear them yell at me for food. I missed it badly the first few times I went outside. I assume I will get use to the quiet. I have to move forward though. I have to make sure I am ready for whatever is in my future.
So, Hubby and I, and hopefully a few others, are going to build a barn.(Somehow) It's what was needed before I actually bought my animals. The barn that you see in my header is full of hay and farm equipment and it doesn't have room for animals. Plus, it is pretty far from the house if I had to go and check up on animals in the middle of the night. I think Hubby felt sorry for me when I cried. It probably shocked him too. Like I said, I don't cry. He has been really pushing the whole "barn" thing since the goats left. I told him that if I had a place for them, I wouldn't have sold them. But, I know that a barn is so expensive to build and we don't have the money to build one. But like I said, Hubby is really pushing for us to build one.
When I had my goats, I felt like I was letting them down. I didn't have the means of taking care of them the way that I felt like they should be taken care of. I had goat huts that they could get in out of the rain. But when it comes to milking, Hanna and I would be outside. Sometimes even in the pouring rain. It was something that just had to be done. Hopefully if there is someway we can get a barn, I will be able to go forward in my journey of homesteading. I don't know, maybe sheep? Maybe alpacas? Maybe more goats? I'm not sure. I do know that with a barn I will be able to take care of whatever we decide, a lot better. Maybe, just maybe, I won't have this horrible feeling anymore.
I want people to see that just because you have land, it doesn't mean that you have a place for animals. There is so much more.
Ok, I'm done with this "down" post. I promise there will be a happier one coming soon.
So until next time,
Small Farm Girl, feeling a little down.