Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Never Again

I am going to try my hardest never to own another female dog. That is unless she if fixed. Skeeter, my miniature wiener dog, is in heat. With her being so small, we've never had a problem with messes and we don't let her outside without supervision, so we didn't want to spend the money and have her fixed.  But still, she is a pain in the rear when she is in heat. Which isn't very often, thank goodness.

Last night at 3 a.m. I hear the high pitched whine that signals for me to let her out. Since she is 13 yrs I figure sometimes she can't help it and has to pee. So I get up, put on my house coat, and let her out. She runs right over to Jack.(our St Bernard)  She raises her little tail as an invitation. Seriously?!!!! She didn't have to pee. She was just horny.  I call her in and after a few more yells, she comes in.

 At 4:30 a.m. the alarm clock goes off and I lay there getting myself ready to get up. I hear the little high pitched whine again. Well, maybe she REALLY needs to go out this time. So I get up, put on my house coat and slippers, and go to the front door to let her out. I thought I had her figured out this time. I would make Jack stay away from her.  I yelled at Jack and he did stay away from her. He was confused, but he did it.

Skeeter walks down over the hill. Great, she's actually going to pee.  I wait a few minutes. Jack is still "chomping at the bit" to get to her. But, he doesn't, he's a good boy. I yell for Skeeter to come inside. Nothing. I yell again, nothing.  I go back inside to get a flashlight to see her better. I shine it around outside and yell for her again. Still nothing.  At this time, I'm getting kind of mad because I know she's ignoring me.  I walk down the small hill in front of our house still yelling for her. Where do I find her? Down on the pond dam! That is pretty far from our house. At least for her little legs.  I yell for her again.  "Skeeter!!!!"  She looks at me and goes the other way. Okay, I know she heard me, so I KNOW she is ignoring me. Now, I'm mad. I walk towards her. "Skeeter!!!!" I yell again.  She looks at me and then goes the other way AGAIN!  Now all this time I'm in my house coat and slippers. It's COLD and WINDY outside. I am not in a good mood by this time.  I start walking (stomping) towards her again yelling her name. She is about 30 yrds from me.  I yell for her again. She turns around to go away from me again.  I take the flashlight and throw it at her!  The flashlight goes out. Great. Now I'm down by the pond, with slippers on, and can't see where I'm going. I just know I'm going to step on or in something squishy.  I'm MAD.  I finally make it to where the flashlight was, picked it up, and turned it back on. It's a good thing it worked because I do believe, at this time if it didn't, I would have chucked it in the pond.

I looked around, no Skeeter. Now where has she gone. I looked and looked, calling(yelling) her name. I looked back at Jack, who by the way, was still up by the house where I told him to stay, he was looking towards the door of the house. In the small amount of time that it took me to go after the flashlight, Skeeter had made a bee line to the house.  I walk back up to the house in my muddy slippers and there she stands by the door wanting in.

I picked her up,(so she couldn't get away) and brought her inside.  I gave her a whippin with my muddy slipper. She knew what she had done. I wasn't going to have it. I put her in her dog cage and locked the door. I was not in a good mood. And  if I would have heard the high pitched whine at that time, I do believe I would have gotten the gun. ( Ok, maybe not. But then again, maybe.) She didn't make a sound until 10 a.m. this morning.

So until next time,

Small Farm Girl, Female Dog Hater(at this time)

P.s.  If anyone wants to complain about me whipping my dog and saying it's my fault for not having her fixed when she was a puppy, I have a muddy slipper for you too. I will hunt you down.  Good Day.  :)

14 comments:

Lisa Scheidegger said...

We, too, have female dogs. No they arent spayed and yes it is a rough 2 to 3 week time frame. We are in the suburbs and love our 8 foot privacy fence... no muddy slippers or dead flashlights required LOL

Lisa

small farm girl said...

Lisa, I would LOVE to have a privacy fence. I wonder how much that would cost me to run one around 55 acres. :)

Carolyn said...

Sorry...but thanks for the laugh, especially the PS part!
(Smartassed wiener dog bitch! hehe)

A Primitive Homestead said...

What a way to start your day. Topaz has been in heat once & very happy to stay in her crate making changing towels very easy. However since then she has found her way into the bed t o sleep. Now I remind hubby she used to be crate trained & what a time it will be when she comes in heat. I believe we're in for lots of whining.Topaz gets a slipper swat gAfrom time to time. Blessings! Lara

Loretta Thomas said...

LOL!!!

sista said...

Ever hear of a leash? Beats muddy slippers, wind, and a dead flashlight. Not to mention the possibility of an unwanted pregnancy or worse yet a hurt dog if a wild one just happened to be around.

Lisa Scheidegger said...

Small Farm Girl.... Hmmm our 1/3 rd acre backyard was about 2500.00 and we put it in ourselves... you do the math.... thanks for the laughs!

small farm girl said...

Carolyn, LOL! yep.

Lara, your times a comin. lol

Loretta, :)

Sista, if I used a leash, I'd still have muddy slippers, and the wind. My St. Bernard can't get her pregnant. We don't have to worry about other dogs, Jack wont let them come close.

Lisa, uh no. I'll pass. hehehe

The Kelly's Adventures in KY said...

Haven't laughed that hard in a while HA! ( sorry, don't chase me down with the slipper :) )

Michaele said...

LOL! That sounds like something I would do but would not confess. :)

Candy C. said...

Bad dog, Skeeter, bad dog!!
Thanks for the chuckle!

Happy Days said...

Oh, just get her spayed and forget it, it's not worth all the hastle. I'd of been mad too. Can't you hook her to a lead and hook it on, put her out and then let her back in? Your lucky there were no strays around. lol....debbie

Hughes ap Williams said...

All of my dogs (oops, except one) since 1975 have been female and all of them have been spayed.

As finances are a problem for you, try to find an animal group or local animal control office that can help out with the expense. Some rescues will help out.

Bren Kirksey said...

ok I am laughing and I needed too..no need for muddy slipper for me..I have a female and she is the sneakiest...I am so loving reading your blog...